5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me About Pregnancy After Infertility

As my site says, I am an infertility warrior and soon-to-be IVF mama. I'm currently in my eighth month of pregnancy when time slows to a screeching halt. It seems like birth is right around the corner, and yet it still feels so far away.

Pregnancy anxiety is a different beast. After experiencing infertility and struggling to conceive, I thought I knew just how anxious I could become. I was wrong. Finally having this precious being on board presented a whole new set of emotions and worries. Is the baby getting enough nutrients? Am I drinking enough water? Is everything okay? It's endless.

I wish someone had been a little more honest with me about what happens after you finally have success with conception. There are still major struggles to deal with every single day. Here are five things I wish someone had told me about pregnancy after infertility:

1. Just because you get pregnant does not mean you're out of the woods.

This one seems kind of doom and gloom, but it's true. IVF pregnancies sometimes come with more complications. For instance, I suffered from a subchorionic hemmorhage (SCH) when I was about 5 weeks along, which are apparently quite common with IVF. It was the single most frightening thing that has ever happened to me and thankfully after some bed rest everything was okay. I'm not saying you shouldn't be optimistic about your pregnancy, I'm just saying that I wished I had known about some of those possibilities.

2. Pregnancy does not erase the trauma of infertility.

It certainly seems like I shouldn't have to say this one, doesn't it? You wouldn't believe how many people don't understand this. Once we were finally successful, people assumed we were fine. We had just been through months and months of mental and physical challenges. Infertility comes with significant trauma for many people, and it's not easily erased. Fortunately, my husband and I have both sought out therapy and have worked through some of this.

3. Infertility will not ruin your marriage.

What even?! As I followed more and more infertility accounts, I saw that a lot of people talked about how tough this makes your marriage/relationship. While this is partly true, I didn't realize how hard my husband and I would hold on to one another. I don't love the phrase, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" but in this instance it was true. Sometimes bad things bring you together and show you just how strong you can be. We are bonded in an entirely different way now, and not just because he had to give me about 500 injections in my butt.

4. Pregnancy might SUCK.

For me, pregnancy has been pretty terrible. I've been sick the majority of the time. It has been very hard on me physically. This comes with a lot of feelings! A lot of times, I feel guilty for not being more grateful for my healthy, growing baby. That's absolute bullshit. Pregnancy is hard, you're allowed to complain, and it doesn't mean you're any less thankful.

5. It's so freaking worth it.

What everyone says is true: it's all worth it in the end. As I approach my due date, it feels like my heart might literally explode with the love I have for this tiny human I haven't met. Every single ache and pain is worth feeling her little kicks all the time. My life already feels different, but I know once I see her face my world will change forever, in the best way possible.